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Today is Monday

January 30, 2007

Yesterday morning, Cristina and I were discussing a person who had become very significant in our lives over the past three months. Her name is Aunt Flo. She comes to visit Cristina every 28 days for what is typically a 5 day visit. She is generally unwelcome but never gets the hint. Prior to her arrival she sends Cristina little care packages of hormones. These generally make Cristina grumpy and make me want to hide under a relatively large rock (Saturn or Mars come to mind as an option).

The biggest problem with Aunt Flo lately is that she has been arriving in triumphant fashion, obnoxiously heralding the repeated delay of the arrival of our children.

This month we expected Aunt Flo to arrive last Friday. She did not come.

“Well, she must be stuck in traffic, there is a significant amount of construction on the 15 freeway right now. She’ll likely arrive on Saturday”

Aunt Flo was conspicuously absent on Saturday.

Sunday morning it was time to take matters into our own hands. I went to Sav-On and after wandering about for 10 minutes or so (I mean seriously, how in the world would I know where they keep the pregnancy tests?) I finally asked one of the employees where to go.

On a side note: Since I had neither showered nor shaved that morning, I threw on an old sweatshirt, some jeans, a hat and sandals. I looked like I was about 18 years old. I can imagine the Sav-On clerk considering the sight before him and silently postulating about how I was probably some kid who was freaking out cause I thought I had just knocked up my girlfriend. Well, he was wrong. I was some kid who was freaking out because I thought I had just knocked up my wife.

Anyway, I brought the test home, threw it on the bed and wandered off to play around on the internet… err, I mean study my Sunday School lesson. An hour later Cristina walked in with a little white stick that she had colored two pink lines onto.

“Hey that’s very good honey, maybe tomorrow we can go to Barnes & Noble and get you a coloring book.”

Then she threw up everywhere. And that’s how we knew she was pregnant.

Okay that’s not true, we looked at the prgnancy stick and smiled and were sort of shocked and surprised and I think a little bit of scared-y-ness wandered around there as well. Overall though we were/are happy. After all, we hate Aunt Flo and now she ain’t coming back for almost a year. Good times.

Everyone who reads this initial blog entry and the ones that follow it over the next couple weeks will notice that we have known for quite some time and have either lied directly to your face or have expertly dodged the baby subject prior to making the announcement. We have a couple reasons for this:

1. As of today, the margin for error in the pregnancy test is higher than ususal. We did not want to announce a false positive.

2. In these first few weeks the potential for miscarriage is higher than later on in the pregnancy. We did not want to announce a pregnancy only to have to re-announce a miscarriage

3. This is our first child. We need some time to absorb information and get all warmed up to the concept before going through all the friend and family hoopla.

That’s all it really is. No offense intended… Well, I might have intended to offend some of you but not in any way above and beyond my ususal attempts to offend you (i.e., name-calling, back-stabbing, rumor-spreading and tire-slashing)

So anyways, Cristina is pregnant.

Please note that I did not say “We are pregnant”. This was intentional. “We” are not pregnant. Cristina is pregnant and I am the father. That is all.

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3 comments

  1. Hey guys;
    That’s great!! Sometimes patience is a virtue and not always fun. So happy for you guys! Almost as happy as hearing that our #10 is on the way!! But you understand my feelings there. Kind of like your Mom’s feelings. Hope to see you guys again one of these days. Jen and I have already decided we will be back to SD a lot this summer.
    I am doing great here in Gilbert, AZ and still don’t know why I am here, except for the family, which I really am grateful for!!! I love you guys, and enjoy the ride, it is bumpy, but such a great blessing at the end. Love you guys, Joanne


  2. You are a liar no matter how you try and justify it.


  3. Thank s Joanne, we intended to visit Arizona but we missed the three day window in January when it wasn’t too hot 🙂

    Bobby – I think I made it quite clear that not only do I consider myself a flagrant liar, I am quite proud of the title. So my “justifications” only serve as icing on the liar cake that I eat with prideful gluttony.



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