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Developmental Milestones

February 22, 2008

So Sariah has been hitting several of her developmental milestones slightly ahead of schedule, according to the time line laid out by the “American Pregnancy Association” (Although frankly, I think they are sticking their big fat pregnant bellies where they don’t belong — shouldn’t they be focusing on the womb? Save the infant development studies for organizations like the “Pediatric Society” or the “Association for Proving that your Kid is Dumber or Smarter than your Neighbors Kid”).

She’s been rolling over and… drooling? Yes, drooling is supposedly a sign of development. If you’re like me, reading this little gem of information, makes me call into question whether the American Pregnancy Association hadn’t let their hormones get the best of their own developmental milestones when making their lists. I don’t mean to be rude here, but in all other aspects of life, drooling is the common indicator as to a complete breakdown in development. I mean, this kind of measuring stick isn’t exactly limited to humanity. I had a really old cat once — you know how we knew she was going down for the count? You guessed it, her mouth was leaking like a sieve (and frankly her mouth wasn’t the only orifice that was leaking involuntarily, but that’s a post for a whole other blog).

However, since I am no scientist, I’ll give the Preggers association the benefit of the doubt for now and take it as a good sign that Sariah can saliva-soak a bib before we even finish attaching it to her chubby little neck.

A couple other supposed milestones are:

  • Good head control — Or, can she “walk like an Egyp-tian”?
  • Sits with support — “Hi, My name is Sariah, and I am a sitter” (in unison) “Hi Sariah”
  • Bears some weight on legs when held upright — I strapped 10 lbs weights to each arm… she still won’t stand
  • Raises head and chest off surface to a 90 degree angle — A 90 degree angle?! Are you kidding? I can’t even raise my head to a 90 degree angle!!
  • Rolls from back to side — Done.
  • Explores and plays with hands — She recently discovered a small island of the coast of Sumatra so she is definitely exploring
  • Tries to reach for objects but overshoots — I didn’t know overshooting was an objective, I’ll go to SportMart today and get her a gun although I fail to see how this is going to help her walk sooner
  • Grasps objects with both hands — I know she does this because she grabbed my face with both hands the other day. This is when I learned that her nails needed clipping
  • Eye-hand coordination begins — Does this mean she can hold her bottle? If so, she mastered this trick early… either she is smart or she is being systematically starved.
  • Makes consonant sounds — Definitely!!! She is always screaming about some… oh I thought it said “constant sounds”
  • Laughs — Yes, but only when announcing her latest evil plans
  • Enjoys being rocked, bounced or swung — Since birth.

So she’s doing pretty good. We’re excited for next month when her various signs of development and maturity will include:

  • Declaring City Slickers the best movie ever made
  • Changing the channel any time Drew Carrey comes onto the TV screen
  • Eating your Cup O’Noodles really fast before they get all soggy and slimy and disgusting
  • Blogging

I’ll let you know if she meets all of these goals.

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