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From the archives

February 23, 2008

I was going to pull up one old post and put it up here, but instead I decided to pull some of my favorite snippets from various posts, hope you enjoy…

Anyway, I brought the test home, threw it on the bed and wandered off to play around on the internet… err, I mean study my Sunday School lesson. An hour later Cristina walked in with a little white stick that she had colored two pink lines onto.

“Hey that’s very good honey, maybe tomorrow we can go to Barnes & Noble and get you a coloring book.”

Then she threw up everywhere. And that’s how we knew she was pregnant.

 The only news that is better than Cristina’s impregnation is the fact that I (Ryan) am the father.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, we had our first ultrasound today. That’s right, not just any “sound” was good enough for us, we paid extra for the “ultra-sound”. It’s kind of like getting the Ultra car wash at the gas station. This means that in addition to the wash and wax, Cristina also had her wheels polished and her undercarriage powerwashed…

 In short, we have taken another momentous step towards parenthood and would like to think that Benihana is just another example of how we are “doing it right” (A phrase  which, coincidentally, describes how Cristina got pregnant in the first place).

Oh, one more thing I learned: If you sign up to bring snacks to Pregnancy & Birthing class, don’t buy something yummy from Costco with the intent to take the remaining snack packages home with you. Pregnant women are similar to ravenous wolves. They will eat all of your yummy snacks and send you home with a tattered box, an empty stomach, and shattered dreams.

Goodbye Cinnamon flavored Teddy Grahams… we hardly knew ye.

Honestly, it wasn’t that bad to watch. The part I found the most interesting was the fact that the baby doesn’t get to just slide down the chute and then get pushed out. No, this baby has to go on the freaking scenic tour on the way out. I don’t even know how any child is born without Mapquest, a flashlight, a bag of beef jerky and a cooler full of Diet coke for the cross country road trip they have to go on. Even more impressive, they do all of it upside down. It’s like Cirque Du Soleil is going on in there. I half expect to see Sariah come out in a neon jumpsuit spinning two hoops on her arms and a plate on her nose while some new age beat music plays in the background.

Cristina proudly declared that she had toxemia. In fact, she declared this in between bouts of puking her brains out. Which is the second symptom on the toxemia diagnosis checklist. The first symptom is: “Feeling toxemic”

So anyway, those are a few of my favorite tidbits. I hope you have enjoyed reading the site as much as I have enjoyed writing for it.

–Ryan–

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3 comments

  1. I loved the birthing class play by plays. Pregnancy stuff can be pretty freaking hilarious… especially with you blogging about it, Ryan!


  2. I agree, pregnancy stuff is hilarious, I was telling Cristina that very thing when her ankles were swelling and she was feeling bloated:

    “Isn’t this hilarious?!” I laughed

    I can’t remember anything after that though… I must have blacked out for some reason 🙂


  3. Cristina and Ryan-although you don’t know her, there is a girl from my ward in Utah whose blog is so poetic…I thought you might enjoy her writing…check it out if you wish http://thegtrain5.blogspot.com/



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