Archive for June, 2008


Magazine covers…

June 19, 2008

Well, it was inevitable I guess.

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at


The Nursery

June 17, 2008

Author: Cristina

So Sariah will be 9 months next week and I am just now getting around to posting pictures of her nursery.  I did have the majority of the nursery completed before she was born, but there were just a few things that took me a while to finish, or to have Ryan remember to do for me.  So here are the pictures

Here is the bedding I picked out. 

I seriously wasted many hours surfing the net trying to find the perfect bedding.  I knew two things: 1) I wanted pink and brown 2) I didn’t want to spend $300 on something my daughter was just going to pee and poop on.  So I was so excited when I finally found this bedding at Walmart of all places and it was only $70, score.

So because the bedding set was only $70 there really wasn’t much in the way of accents to decorate the room with, so I made my own.  I had a good time painting these canvases to match the bedding.

Our good friend Susan took these pictures, they are hanging above her crib.  This took a while to get up, because the first time I hung them they fell off the wall and into the crib, luckily she wasn’t in it at the time.

The $300 bedding sets included a diaper stacker, not the case with the $70 set.  So this is the one I made to somewhat match the room.  It was my first really attempt at sewing something all by myself (okay, so my Grandmother helped a bit), I think it turned out okay.

Here is the lamp shade I decorated for the room.  I completed it two months ago and still have been too lazy to move the changing table out from the wall to plug it in, so it really is just for decoration.

My good friend, Amanda, made this for Sariah’s room.  I love it, I think it describes her perfectly.

This is my favorite part of the nursery.  Ryan drew this picture to represent our little family; Dad, Mom and baby.

Sariah in her crib.

So that is the nursery…thanks for reading.


A couple trips to fun stuff

June 10, 2008

Ugh, I’m becoming such a parent.

If you had asked me two years ago what I thought would be a few good activities for a Saturday afternoon and a Monday summer evening, I would probably list something like this:

  • See a movie
  • Indoor go-kart racing
  • Paintball
  • BBQ
  • Videogames
  • Hiking

Then, if you traced your finger alllllll the way down the list to the very last few items, you would see the following:

  • Give an elephant an enema
  • Clean my eyeballs with sea salt and sandpaper
  • Pick blueberries at a local farm
  • Play on the equipment at the local park

And yet, over the last couple days I have gone to a blueberry farm and have given en elephant — no wait — played at the local park.

The problem here is, I had a lot fun. It’s almost inconceivable. I look back on my days of late night street racing, skydiving, backpacking and all the other fun/crazy/stupid stuff I used to do and wonder how it came to this.

On Saturday we went to the Temecula blueberry farm and for five bucks picked a pint of blueberries. Of course, while walking through the rows of blueberry bushes, you can’t help but eat approximately one more pint by picking few random blueberries here and there. This is justifiable of course because you need to really develop an eye for what a ripe blueberry looks like and what a not-so-ripe one looks like. The owners are really nice and came out to show us where some of the best berries were growing. It was all very small-town life. I half expected to hear the baritone voice of Garrison Keillor narrating our adventure.

Sunday was church and on Monday, we went to Wolf Creek park so the kids could play in the water fountain. Sariah had fallen asleep during the car ride over, and so she was bit shocked when we woke her up, stripped her clothes and stuck her in a stream of cold water. The initial shock finally wore off and she spent the next 15 minutes trying to catch the fountain of water streaming from the boulders. The only major issue was that she would get so excited she would begin flailing her arms and legs around with little thought to the consequences. More than once she kicked the rock pretty hard despite my best efforts to keep her spastic extremities clear of the rough and solid stone. She never seemed to notice it though. Perhaps her limbs were numb from the cold water. A close inspection of her fingers and toes revealed no cuts, bruises, lacerations or frostbite so the D.A. wouldn’t have a case anyway.

After changing her from her swimsuit, we took her to the playground swing. This was her first experience with a playground swing and the myriad of germs it has to offer. I expect a cease and desist order from her immune system any day now. I think she really liked the swing because although she spent most of the time exhibiting a very stern poker face, she did not squirm or fuss or anything. I can only speculate as to why her face was so stern. My best guess is that she disapproved of my outfit. I had grabbed a t-shirt and an old pair of shorts that were pretty beat up. Admittedly I was not exactly a dashing representative of the Moore family at the park on Monday. If that’s not a good enough reason to withhold a smile whilst swinging, I don’t know what is.

So anyway, the point is, this little girl is turning me into a nancy-boy and I don’t appreciate it. Next week, I will rebel against this trend by getting one of my tractors and driving it through the streets while shooting holes in all the road signs with a shotgun. You know, cause I’m crazy and impetuous and have been led to believe that life is like the Grand Theft Auto video games.


Stage Name: Sariah Lena

June 8, 2008

Author: Cristina

So as most of you have probably already read, I got this crazy idea to submit Sariah’s pictures to a modeling agency.  I think the main motivation behind this was to have a total qualified stranger validate my feelings that Sariah is super cute.  So it is confirmed, she is super cute. The agency that signed Sariah is called JetSet, her agent is named Paloma, and so far we really like them.

Tuesday afternoon she had her first professional photoshoot, here is the story as best I can recall it.  The shoot was for Infantino, a local SD company that sells infant toys and carriers.  I picked Sariah up from the house at 1:40 and we headed down to San Diego.  Her call time was 2:30 so I drove a little faster than I should have to get her to the shoot on time.  We arrived at the photographer’s with 2 minutes to spare, which didn’t really matter all that much since the shoot was runing behind.  The photography assistant gave me a white shirt and jeans to change Sariah into and we waited for the model to finish with the group before us.  I guess I should explain that the shoot consisted of 4 adult models and about 10 infants that were going to be in front pack carriers (similar to Bjorn).  The photos were being taken outside so when the adult model, a super skinny girl who I am sure has never had nor will ever have kids, came inside we knew it was Sariah’s time to shine.  We put Sariah in the carrier and she did great, no fussing about anything.  She was such a happy baby the whole time we were there.  Then we went outside to take the photos.  Sariah did a good job at looking at the camera the whole time, but we were a little far away so it was harder to get her to smile.  I was acting like a complete fool; jumping up and down, shaking her toys, talking in silly voices.  At one point the photographer looked at me and said “well at least you get an A for effort”.  I am not exactly sure how long we were taking pictures for, probably about 15-20 min or so, when the photographer said he had the shot he was looking for and that Sariah was all done.  We went back inside and returned the clothes to the assistant.  We said goodbye and were on our way home.  So all total we were there for about an hour and actually did stuff for about 15min.  Everything was really fun and I think Sariah had a good time, I am sure we will do it again if the agent finds us more work.

So you maybe asking yourself “what is with the title of this post?”.  Well, a funny thing happened when I got home and checked my email.  The agent (Paloma) had sent me an email and told me that she already represented a Sariah Moore.  Can you believe that?  What are the odds that she would represent another infant with the same name.  She is a totally cute 16 month old African American girl.  So Paloma asked if it would be okay if we gave Sariah the stage name “Sariah Lena”.  I of course said yes, I think my Grandmother would be proud to hear that Sariah used her name (Sariah’s middle name) as her stage name.  So there is the story about how my 8 month old cutie already has a stage name. 


As if…

June 3, 2008

As if she wasn’t a big enough diva already, Sariah seems to be on her way to becoming a model. There’ll be no living with her now.

Explanation – Part A: My sister (well, as close as you can get to being a sister anyway) takes professional photos, and has been taking lots of photos of Sariah since before she was even born (maternity photos). So we have a pretty large stock of great looking pictures of our daughter. A lot of them are studio shots but others are just candid photos taken at family gatherings, Susan just has a good eye for shooting pictures.

Explanation – Part B: Sariah gets a decent amount of compliments when she is out amongst what will now be known as “the common-folk”. As a result of the compliments, Cristina started getting pretty convinced that we had a reasonably pretty little girl. I have always been quick to dismiss most of the compliments as something people say to be polite and because most babies are cute just by virtue of being a baby, not because they are particularly “good-looking”.

Also, I think Sariah is devastatingly ugly.

I’m Just kidding, I don’t think her face is ugly, just her personality.

Just kidding again.

I think my daughter is devastatingly beautiful but I didn’t want us to be some naive parents who gush on and on about how our kid is sooooo cute while the rest of the world is just shaking their heads and thinking: “Ummm, not so much.”

Anyway, Cristina was over-the-edge convinced when some old lady told us that Sariah should be a baby model — because nobody knows the competitive baby modeling world like an old lady in the Murrieta 99 cent store.

So we sent in some photos to two agencies. One Is an agency that Susan (the photographer mentioned above) had sent some photos of some local twins to. The agency recently got them cast on the show “According to Jim”. I mention that the casting was recent because I don’t want any of you to blame these local twins for the fact that the show “According to Jim”… is an entertainment trainwreck.  

Cristina got a call yesterday. Sariah has her first paid booking. She is going down to San Diego today to take photos for some type of baby carrier. She is going to be paid $13,000.00

Whoops, that was a typo. I meant to say 100 dollars. Apparently the way this works is that they are taking pictures of two babies. If the client chooses the photos of Sariah, she will get an additional 200 dollars, if she isn’t chosen, we will remind of her for the rest of her life that she is “Mommy’s little disappointment”.

If things do go well for her, all of her earnings will go to support my gambling habits and Cristina’s alchohol addiction, so we are pretty excited about that. Regardless of whether her pictures are chosen, I plan to immediately begin enforcing the following rules:

  1. Her diet will now be restricted to Salsa and Celery. I will also encourage to her to snort cocaine as this contributes to weight loss.
  2. No more late nights with the older boys from the nursery. 
  3. Our pediatrician will be replaced by a stylist
  4. We will begin interviewing children to be part of her entourage. If you would like your child to be considered, please mail your headshots along with a 75 dollar “consideration fee”. Additional fees will be discussed if your child is chosen.    

Disclaimer: Dear Child Protective Services, the stuff I just wrote about cocaine, alcohol, gambling and celery was just a joke. We actually intend to just put everything she makes into some sort of college fund. This way, if any of our other kids don’t get modeling jobs, we can tell them that their student loans are the equivalent of an ugly tax. This is especially ironic because if Sariah continues to be pretty as she gets older, she won’t even need college, she’ll just marry some rich dude as soon as she graduates high school.