Archive for November, 2008


Old and Busted: Sacajawea. New Hotness: Sacajariah.

November 9, 2008

It’s story time boys and girls. Gather ’round and I’ll tell you the legend of Sacajariah:

A long time ago in a land called Te-shmecula, there lived a young couple named Dryan and Cristinaba. One day the couple decided that they wanted to have a baby. So one night they [edited for content].

Several months later Dryan and Cristinaba announced to their friends and families that they indeed would be having a baby soon. Because this young couple was exceptionally prepared, they had a name already selected for their little girl: Sariah. But before they could name her. Many distant cousins came traveling from their villages far away. “No, no!” they exclaimed. “That name will not fit at all! She should be named Sacajawea!”

The young couple and the distant cousins battled for days and days. The young couple eventually won out and the child was named Sariah. But the cousins gathered together after their loss. They called upon magical powers and they cooked potions in huge pots. They lit fires and danced and shouted magical spells. Finally, after many days and nights, their magical efforts succeeded — but only slightly. Now, one night a year, Sariah changes from a little suburban white girl to…

SACAJ-ARIAH: Indian princess and Mountain Explorer Extraordinaire!